Remember when the “Magnificent Seven” was a thing? Yeah, those days are over. Now it’s more like the “Magnificent One” (hello, NVIDIA) and everyone else scrambling to keep up.
The market has the attention span of a goldfish on espresso. Miss one earnings beat, and suddenly you’re yesterday’s news. Just ask Tesla – they went from untouchable to “meh” faster than you can say “Cybertruck delay.”
But this week, four of the old guard stepped up to the earnings plate: Microsoft, Meta, Amazon, and Apple. Let’s see who still deserves a spot in your portfolio and who might be getting a little too comfortable.
Meta: Still Printing Money (Literally)
Zuckerberg’s empire crushed expectations with earnings jumping 38% to $7.14 per share. Revenue hit $47.52 billion – that’s about $6 billion more than analysts expected. Not bad for a company everyone thought was dead in the water during the metaverse fiasco.
The secret sauce? Good old-fashioned advertising. More eyeballs on Instagram and Facebook means more ad dollars. Plus, those fancy new smart glasses are actually gaining traction. Who knew people wanted to look like tech bros from 2014?
Microsoft: The Cloud King Keeps Winning
Microsoft just joined the $4 trillion club alongside NVIDIA, and honestly, they earned it. Revenue hit $76.4 billion (up 18%), with their cloud business absolutely crushing it. Azure grew 39% – that’s the kind of growth that makes CFOs weep tears of joy.
Their AI business is now pulling in $13 billion annually. That’s a 175% jump from last year. Satya Nadella’s $80 billion bet on data centers is paying off big time.
Amazon: Great Numbers, Terrible Guidance
Amazon beat earnings expectations with $1.68 per share (analysts wanted $1.33), and revenue climbed 13% to $167.7 billion. AWS, their cash cow, grew 18% to $30.9 billion.
But then they went and ruined the party with weak guidance. Wall Street wanted $19.5 billion in operating income for next quarter; Amazon said “how about $15.5-20.5 billion?” The stock tanked 7%. Lesson learned: in this market, it’s not just about what you did – it’s about what you’re going to do.
Apple: The Steady Eddie
Apple did what Apple does – solid, unspectacular growth. Earnings up 12%, revenue up 10% to $94 billion. iPhone sales were strong, Services business keeps humming along.
The AI story? Still murky. Tim Cook was about as revealing as a poker player with sunglasses on. They’re “significantly growing investment” but won’t say in what. Classic Apple.
The Verdict
According to the stock grading system, Amazon, Meta, and Microsoft earn “B” ratings (buy), while Apple gets a “C” (hold). Translation: three out of four ain’t bad, but Apple might be losing its mojo.
The bottom line? The AI boom is real, and these companies are either riding the wave or getting swept away by it. Choose wisely.