Look, we need to talk about your portfolio. While you’ve been doom-scrolling through TikTok investment advice, some actual Wall Street heavyweights just dropped their playbook for the rest of 2025. And spoiler alert: it’s not all about buying the dip on meme stocks.
The S&P 500 just hit another record high, which sounds great until you realize that means everything’s expensive again. It’s like shopping for a house in 2021 – sure, you can buy, but you’re probably overpaying.
The “Everything is Overpriced” Problem
Here’s where it gets interesting. When the smart money can’t find deals in the usual places, they start getting creative. Bank of America’s Jared Woodard is hunting in small-cap value territory – basically the clearance rack of the stock market. Meanwhile, BlackRock’s Tony Despirito is looking for companies that have hit rock bottom and are ready to bounce back. Think of it as value investing with a side of optimism.
AI: Still the Golden Child
Remember when everyone said AI was overhyped? Yeah, well, these experts didn’t get that memo. Jason Hsu from Rayliant Global thinks we’re only in the “fifth inning” of the AI rally. His play? Split your bets 60/40 between Chinese and US AI stocks. It’s like diversifying your Netflix queue – sometimes you want Hollywood blockbusters, sometimes you want subtitled indie films.
UBS’s David Lefkowitz is taking a more infrastructure approach, focusing on the companies building the pipes that make AI possible. Smart move – someone’s got to build the roads before the cars can drive on them.
The “Everything is Falling Apart” Trade
Then there’s Ben McMillan from IDX Advisors, who’s basically betting that everything goes to hell. His recommendation? Split $10,000 equally between gold and bitcoin. It’s the financial equivalent of keeping canned goods in your basement – probably unnecessary, but you’ll feel really smart if the apocalypse happens.
This “debasement trade” has been the hot ticket lately, even though gold just had its worst sell-off in 12 years. But hey, that’s what makes it interesting, right?
Looking Beyond America’s Expensive Buffet
JPMorgan’s David Kelly has perhaps the most practical advice: look elsewhere. UK and European stocks are cheaper and offer bigger dividends. It’s like discovering that the hole-in-the-wall restaurant has better food than the trendy place with the two-hour wait.
The Reality Check
Here’s the thing about all this expert advice – it’s coming at a time when the market is doing that thing where it goes up, down, sideways, and occasionally does a little dance that makes no sense. We’ve had regional bank meltdowns, gold going parabolic then crashing, and Treasury yields doing whatever Treasury yields do when they’re feeling moody.
The takeaway? Maybe don’t put all your eggs in one basket, even if that basket is labeled “AI” or “meme stocks.” Sometimes the boring, diversified approach wins – kind of like how vanilla ice cream outsells every fancy flavor combined.
Your move, investor.