Dan Ives is back with his annual tech fortune-telling session, and honestly, the guy’s predictions are either genius or completely bonkers—probably both. The Wedbush analyst who’s never met a tech stock he didn’t want to hug just released his 2026 outlook, and it’s basically a love letter to Silicon Valley wrapped in financial jargon.
Tesla’s Robotaxi World Domination Tour
First up: Elon’s army of self-driving cars. Ives thinks Tesla will roll out robotaxis in 30+ cities next year and start cranking out Cybercabs like they’re making Happy Meals. Sure, Tesla stock just hit record highs, but Dan’s not done—he sees another 26% upside in his “eh, probably” scenario and a whopping 68% if everything goes perfectly (which, let’s be real, never happens but we can dream).
Meanwhile, other folks are side-eyeing this prediction harder than a suspicious Uber driver. Some critics think Waymo’s already lapping Tesla in the self-driving race, but Ives is sticking to his guns like it’s 2019 and Tesla’s still the scrappy underdog.
Oracle’s Comeback Story
Remember Oracle? That database company your dad’s IT department probably uses? Ives thinks they’re about to have their main character moment in 2026. Despite recent earnings that made investors sadder than a cancelled Netflix show, he’s betting Oracle hits $250 per share by building out data centers and converting their “massive AI backlog” (fancy talk for “people who said they’d buy stuff”).
The Apple-Google Power Couple We Didn’t See Coming
Here’s where things get spicy: Ives predicts Apple and Google will officially team up on AI through some Gemini partnership. Apparently, this will finally give Apple a “real AI strategy” (ouch, but fair) and help them hit a $5 trillion market cap. That’s trillion with a T, folks—roughly the GDP of Japan, but for one company that makes pretty phones.
The Acquisition Nobody’s Talking About
Ever heard of Nebius? Neither had most people until this year, when the Dutch AI infrastructure company’s stock went absolutely bananas with 212% gains. Ives thinks Microsoft, Google, or Amazon will swoop in and buy them faster than you can say “hostile takeover.” It’s like watching the popular kids fight over who gets to sit with the new transfer student.
Cybersecurity’s Moment to Shine
Finally, Ives is bullish on cybersecurity stocks, specifically CrowdStrike and Palo Alto Networks. Given that hackers seem to discover new ways to ruin our digital lives daily, this feels less like a prediction and more like stating the obvious. But hey, sometimes the obvious play is the right play.
Look, Dan Ives has been wrong before (haven’t we all?), but he’s also been spectacularly right about tech trends. Whether 2026 brings us robot taxi fleets or just more disappointment remains to be seen. Either way, it’s going to be one hell of a ride.