Palantir Just Hit the Jackpot (And Their CEO Is Basically Trolling Everyone)

Look, I've seen some wild earnings calls in my time, but Palantir's CEO Alex Karp just delivered what might be the most gloriously petty victory lap in corporate history. After posting numbers that would make a Vegas high roller jealous, this guy literally apologized to the haters for disappointing them. I'm not kidding. "We're very proud and we're sorry that our haters are disappointed, but there are many more quarters to be disappointed, and we're working on that too," Karp said ...
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When Trump Tweets, Stocks Jump: How Sydney Sweeney’s Jeans Ad Just Made American Eagle 24% Richer

Well, folks, we've officially entered the timeline where presidential social media posts about jeans ads can move markets faster than quarterly earnings reports. Welcome to 2025, where Sydney Sweeney's curves aren't just breaking the internet—they're breaking stock charts too. Here's what happened: American Eagle Outfitters (AEO) saw its stock rocket 24% on Monday after Donald Trump decided to weigh in on their controversial "Sydney Sweeney has great jeans" campaign. And by "weigh in," I mean he basically became their unpaid hype ...
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August’s Market Drama: Why Your Portfolio Might Need Motion Sickness Pills

Remember when investing felt boring? Yeah, me neither. But if you're wondering why your portfolio has been doing the financial equivalent of a TikTok dance lately, welcome to August – historically one of the market's moodiest months. Here's the deal: The VIX (aka the "fear gauge" – because Wall Street loves dramatic nicknames) just had a 20% tantrum on Friday, then chilled out by 15% yesterday. It's like that friend who texts you "WE NEED TO TALK" then follows up with ...
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Disney’s Earnings Magic Trick: Can the Mouse Pull Another Rabbit Out of the Hat?

So Disney's about to drop their Q3 earnings on Wednesday (August 6), and honestly? The House of Mouse has been on an absolute tear lately. We're talking two straight quarters of absolutely crushing Wall Street's expectations – like, not just beating them, but taking them out back and giving them the full Thanos treatment. Here's the deal: analysts are expecting Disney to post $1.45 per share for Q3, which would be about a 5.8% bump from last year. Sounds modest, right? ...
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200 Blue Chips Just Got Fresh Report Cards – Here’s Who Made Honor Roll (And Who’s Getting Detention)

You know that feeling when report cards come out and you're secretly hoping your portfolio didn't flunk math? Well, Louis Navellier just graded 200 blue-chip stocks, and let me tell you – some of your favorites might need summer school. Here's the deal: Navellier's Stock Grader system just dropped fresh ratings based on institutional buying pressure and fundamental health. Think of it as a report card that actually matters for your wallet. The Honor Roll Students (Upgraded to Strong Buy) Some big names ...
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Monday Market Madness: 5 Things That Actually Matter Today

Look, I get it. You woke up this Monday morning, checked your portfolio, and wondered if the market had a weekend bender. Well, grab your coffee because here's what's actually happening in the financial circus today. 1. Stocks Are Playing Bounce-Back Ball Remember Friday's dramatic selloff? Yeah, the market is basically doing the financial equivalent of "I'm fine, everything's fine" this morning. Futures are pointing higher because apparently investors have the attention span of goldfish and already forgot about Trump's tariff tantrums ...
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Trump’s Tariff Tantrum Just Gave the Stock Market a Reality Check

Well, well, well. Remember when everyone thought Trump was just bluffing about those August 1st tariffs? Turns out the man wasn't kidding around. Markets got a harsh dose of reality on Friday when the president actually followed through on his threats, and let's just say investors weren't exactly throwing confetti. After weeks of what can only be described as wishful thinking—with traders betting on the "TACO Trade" (Trump Always Chickens Out, because Wall Street loves a good acronym)—the stock market got ...
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Hold Up – Maybe Don’t Buy This Dip

Look, I get it. The market dropped 1.65% on Friday and your finger is already hovering over that "buy" button. After all, we've been trained like Pavlov's dogs to salivate every time stocks go on sale. But before you YOLO into this dip, let me be your voice of reason (or at least your slightly paranoid friend who's read too many market history books). August: The Month Markets Go to Die Here's the thing nobody wants to talk about while they're busy ...
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