The $15 Trillion Earnings Circus: Big Tech’s About to Spill the Tea

Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this week is about to be absolutely bonkers. We're talking about $15 trillion worth of market cap reporting earnings in basically 36 hours. That's more money than most countries' entire GDP, and it's all happening faster than you can say "quarterly guidance." Wednesday and Thursday are shaping up to be the financial equivalent of watching five Marvel movies back-to-back, except instead of superheroes, we get CEOs in expensive suits trying to convince us their AI spending ...
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Warren Buffett’s $344 Billion Cash Pile Is Basically Screaming ‘Danger Ahead’ – Here’s Why You Should Listen

Look, when Warren Buffett – the guy who's basically the Yoda of investing – starts hoarding cash like he's prepping for the apocalypse, maybe we should pay attention. The Oracle of Omaha is sitting on a record-breaking $344 billion in cash right now. That's not "I forgot to invest my lunch money" territory – that's "I see something coming and it ain't pretty" levels of caution. The 5-Year Itch That Should Make You Nervous Here's where things get spooky. The stock market ...
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Quantum Stocks: When Rumors Get Denied But Nobody Cares

You know that friend who keeps insisting they're "totally over" their ex while simultaneously checking their Instagram stories? That's basically quantum computing stocks right now with government funding rumors. Here's what went down: The Wall Street Journal dropped a report yesterday claiming the Trump administration was in talks to take equity stakes in quantum computing companies like Rigetti Computing (RGTI), Quantum Computing (QUBT), D-Wave Quantum (QBTS), and IonQ (IONQ). Think of it as Uncle Sam sliding into their DMs with a ...
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Why Grindr Stock Just Went Full Send (And What It Means for Your Portfolio)

So here's a plot twist nobody saw coming: Grindr stock just absolutely launched 21% on Friday, and no, it wasn't because they added a new filter or anything. Turns out, when your majority shareholders decide they want to take you private, the market gets a little... excited. The TL;DR: Grindr's chairman James Fu Bin Lu and board member Raymond Zage (who already own about 60% of the company) basically said "Hey, we'll buy out everyone else for $18 per share." Since ...
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Betting Markets Think This Government Shutdown Is Going Full Netflix Series Mode

So here we are, three weeks into what's shaping up to be the government shutdown equivalent of a Netflix series that just won't end. And if the betting markets are right, we're not even close to the season finale. The feds shut down on October 1st, and we're now 22 days deep into this political drama. For context, that's getting uncomfortably close to the record-holder: the 35-day shutdown from December 2018 to January 2019. You know, the one that made everyone ...
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The Fed’s Flying Blind (But the CPI Just Threw Them a Lifeline)

Picture this: You're piloting a plane through thick clouds, and suddenly all your instruments start going haywire. The altimeter? Dead. Attitude indicator? Nope. Airspeed? Also toast. Welcome to Jerome Powell's world right now. Thanks to the government shutdown delaying key economic reports, the Fed has been basically flying blind for weeks. No Producer Price Index, no retail sales data – just a whole lot of economic fog and crossed fingers. It's like trying to land a 747 using only vibes and prayer. But ...
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Meet the Guy Who Accidentally Became the Beyond Meat Meme King (And Definitely Isn’t the Next Roaring Kitty)

So here's a wild story for you: A 29-year-old business school dropout just accidentally triggered the most bonkers meme stock rally of 2025. And no, he's not wearing a red headband or calling himself a cat. Meet Dimitri Semenikhin, aka "Capyabara Stocks" on social media (yes, that's capybara like the chill rodent). This guy posted what he thought was a pretty standard investment thesis about Beyond Meat being undervalued, and somehow retail traders turned it into a 1,300% stock surge in ...
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Grindr Stock Goes Wild: When Dating Apps Get Buyout Fever

So here's a plot twist nobody saw coming: Grindr stock just had its best day in forever, shooting up 21% faster than you can swipe right. And no, it wasn't because they added a new filter or figured out how to make online dating less soul-crushing. The real tea? Two big shots who already own most of the company decided they want to buy out everyone else and take this whole operation private. Think of it like when your rich friend ...
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